Today, in the South Royalton ward that meets in the Sharon Academy while our new chapel is under construction, I gave the dreaded mothers' day talk. Turns out no one else was speaking. I kind of wish I would have known that since I pared it down the night before! But I think it went well. One person told me I "have a way with words"... Nice to know that English degree isn't completely useless! Enjoy. And Happy Mothers' day Mom and Betty!!
TALK BEGINS HERE:
So, I know God created man before woman…but don’t you always turn in a rough draft before the final masterpiece?
They talk about a woman’s sphere,
As though it has a limit;
There’s not a place in earth or heaven,
There’s not a task to mankind given,
There’s not a blessing nor a woe,
There’s not a whispered yes or no,
There’s not a life, or death, or birth,
That has a feather’s weight of worth …
Without a woman in it.
Gordon B. Hinckley discussed the importance of woman in the following passage:
““In the sequence of events as set forth in the scripture, God first created the earth, “and the earth was without form, and void.” (Gen. 1:2.) He then separated the light from the darkness, and the waters from the land. Then came the creation of vegetation of all kinds, giving the beauty of trees and grass, flowers and shrubs. Then followed the creation of animal life in the sea and upon the land.
Having looked over all of this, He declared it to be good. He then created man in His own likeness and image. Then as His final creation, the crowning of His glorious work, He created woman. I like to regard Eve as His masterpiece after all that had gone before, the final work before He rested from His labors.
I do not regard her as being in second place to Adam. She was placed at his side as an helpmeet. They were together in the Garden, they were expelled together, and they labored together in the world into which they were driven.”
Today is Mothers' Day.
I would like to begin by speaking to the men. First, how beautiful are your sisters and wives? Look at them not for their flawlessly applied lipstick, perfectly sprayed hair, or finely selected ensemble, but for their infinite and unending potential. For I can promise that is what they look at in you. They do not see you for what you are, but for you might be. Russell M. Nelson said, “Thank the Lord for these sisters who—like our Heavenly Father—love us not only for what we are but for what we may become.” We see in you the potential for godliness, far before you ever see it in yourselves.
Look at us the same way.
Russell M. Nelson, whom I quoted earlier, gave a wonderful talk at the April 1999 Priesthood session of General Conference. It is a shame the women were not there to here it. He said, “We who bear the holy priesthood have a sacred duty to honor our sisters. We are old enough and wise enough to know that teasing is wrong. We respect sisters—not only in our immediate families but all the wonderful sisters in our lives. As daughters of God, their potential is divine. Without them, eternal life would be impossible. Our high regard for them should spring from our love of God and from an awareness of their lofty purpose in His great eternal plan.”
As women, we are expected to do a lot. We are expected to gain an education, work, marry, have children, cook, clean, and support. We need help. Not just today. Brothers, recognize the work the sisters do, thank them for it, and help them the next time around. Again, Russell M. Nelson said, “You fathers can help with the dishes, care for a crying baby, and change a diaper. And perhaps some Sunday you could get the children ready for Church, and your wife could sit in the car and honk.” Love your wives. Appreciate all they do, because they do a good deal of it for you. Love your wives.
There are literally billions of women on this earth. Think about that for a second. Billions of women. Ask yourself then, if it is logical for a loving Heavenly Father to expect the same things from every one of the billions. Of course it is not. While the rudimentary principles of the gospel are the same, and the same requirements exist for gaining exaltation, the way we live can be different. The way we live is expected to be different, and it should be different. Mothers around the globe live vastly different lives from each other, and that is okay, beautiful even. M. Russell Ballard said, “There is no one perfect way to be a good mother. Each situation is unique. Each mother has different challenges, different skills and abilities, and certainly different children. The choice is different and unique for each mother and each family. What matters is that a mother loves her children deeply and, in keeping with the devotion she has for God and her husband, prioritizes them above all else.” Many women on this earth are not mothers, but that does not mean they are not women. The women of the church are united in their calling, and all women, regardless of biological motherhood, are mothers to someone. They are all endowed with the ability to create beauty and make lives worthwhile. Those gifts are not only for mothers. M. Russell Ballard clarified, “While women live in homes under many different circumstances—married, single, widowed, or divorced, some with children and some without—all are beloved of God, and He has a plan for His righteous daughters to receive the highest blessings of eternity.”
And to the younger women, do not be too quick to grow up. You are likely more grown up now than you even know. Alexandre Dumas said, “It is only rarely that one can see in a little boy the promise of a man, but one can almost always see in a little girl the threat of a woman.”
Women, as we strive to live up to our potential, I think we should look to that timeless classic of literature and film, The Wizard of Oz. The quest of each of the four characters to be granted a trait by the all-powerful wizard is very much akin to our life here on earth. We can see ourselves in each one of the lovable characters. In the Lion, that cowardly king of the forest, we see our fears and doubts. In the Tin Man, we see our desire for love. In the Scarecrow we see our never-ending thirst for knowledge. And in Dorothy, we see our yearning for home. Let’s head down that yellow brick road and see what we can find on our journey.
The Lion is seeking courage. But what is courage? John Wayne said “Courage is being scared to death, but saddling up anyway.” Women need courage. Thomas S. Monson instructed the young women to have courage in three aspects of their lives: the courage to refrain from judging others, the courage to be chaste and virtuous, and the courage to stand firm for truth and righteousness. Judging others is the quickest way to show your cowardice. It is weakness. And we are all weak in this area. I struggle with this more than I would like to share. Part of it is, I suppose, because of my legal training, where, after all, we are taught how to judge people and their actions quickly and effectively. However, in our personal lives, judgment needs to be reserved for God. He is the only one that can judge the actions and thoughts of another. You cannot judge others. I say this harshly because it is the only way I’ll listen. Being chaste and virtuous does indeed take courage. Unfortunately, in this world, it is most often left up to women to cover themselves up, because, bless their hearts, most men just cannot help it. Standing for truth and righteousness is not something you can do once. It takes the courage of a lifetime to live this way. Women need to have the courage to live the way they want, to make independent choices, the courage to stand up to their children, and the courage to be happy in the face of fear. Victor Hugo said, “Have courage for the great sorrows of life and patience for the small ones; and when you have laboriously accomplished your daily task, go to sleep in peace. God is awake.” Sometimes life is scary, but we need to saddle up anyway.
Thomas S. Monson said, “True love can alter human lives and change human nature.” What a remarkable power to have. It is no wonder then, that the Tin Man was so anxious to be given a heart, after a good oiling of course. In almost every situation, it is necessary to have heart. When speaking to your children you need heart to speak with love and kindness, and heart to have faith that they will heed you, and heart to forgive them when they don’t. You need heart to speak respectfully to your boss, to not give up on yourself, and the heart to forgive yourself for the mistakes you will make along the way. Saint Francis de Sales said, “Have patience with all things, but chiefly have patience with yourself. Do not lose courage in considering your own imperfections but instantly set about remedying them - every day begin the task anew.” Having heart means that your heart is open to give and receive love. Mosiah 7:33 reads “Turn to the Lord with full purpose of heart.” Our hearts need to be knit not only with each other, but also with the Lord and His gospel. When we pray, we are taught to pray with a full and sincere heart. Our Heavenly Father knows us, and, as David A. Bednar said, “Prayer becomes more meaningful as we pray for others with real intent and a sincere heart.” Prayer is a matter of the heart. With sincere prayer, your heart can be strengthened, which has the power to change the course of your life in the way you relate to people, and the way you treat yourself.
Perhaps the favorite character in The Wizard of Oz, the Scarecrow is asking for a brain. Although as a child I always questioned how he could sing and dance with no brain, I later understood that it was not a physical brain he was seeking, but the knowledge and experience it could hold. If it is true, as the scriptures state, that the glory of God is intelligence, then we should all be actively seeking, and using, our brains. Some women feel shameful or selfish when they have a desire to work outside the home. Sisters, this is not an unrighteous desire. The Lord has blessed us with brilliant minds, able bodies, and good ideas for a reason. We do not need to feel selfish for self-improvement. It is expected and necessary to improve ourselves and the world around us. We should also not be ashamed to take credit for a job well done. Even God said, “It is good.”
We need to use our brain not only for intellectual pursuits, but also to determine our spiritual growth. The Lord told Oliver Cowdry to determine for himself whether the teachings of the Church were true. Doctrine and Covenants 9:8 reads “But, behold, I say unto you, that you must study it out in your mind; then you must ask me if it be right, and if it is right I will cause that your bosom shall burn within you; therefore, you shall feel that it is right.” Romans 12:2 reads “And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.” We need to be constantly searching to renew and refresh our minds. Our Heavenly Father has given us the most powerful tool possible, and it is our duty to use it wisely.
What a wonderful place Dorothy’s home must have been for her to work so hard to find a way back. What a good example for us. We should strive to make our homes a place where our children and their friends want to be. Our homes should be places of peace and refuge, order and beauty, unity and love. The Bible Dictionary states, “only the home can compare with the temple in sacredness”. With this view, we can then understand how our homes ought to be established. Doctrine and Covenants 88:119 tells us to “establish a house, even a house of prayer, a house of fasting, a house of faith, a house of learning, a house of glory, a house of order, a house of God.” In the most recent General Conference, Gary E. Stevenson told us, “Whether our living space is large or small, humble or extravagant, there is a place for each of these gospel priorities in each of our homes.” We are also to remember to constantly strive for a way back home to our Heavenly Father. We need to remain worthy for that ultimate blessing of exaltation.
We have reached the end of the yellow brick road. We are standing in the presence of the Great and Powerful Oz. He comes out from behind the curtain and we see that he is just a man. Are we disappointed? Or are we perhaps relieved? He points out to the Lion that he already has courage. He tells the Tin Man that his heart has been there all along. He shares with the Scarecrow that he indeed has a brain. And Dorothy need only click her heels to go home. How refreshingly simple it all seems to be. And it can be so for us. When we pray to Heavenly Father for courage, heart, intelligence, and a way home, He will remind us that we have had the courage to continue, the heart to truly love, the intelligence to succeed, and the way home to Him all along. How refreshingly simple it all can be. That is, if we stay on the yellow brick road.
